there are 4 main reasons why i'm typically slow to respond: - i focus the majority of my attention on the relationships in my inner circle of community and (chosen) family, and with those in the collaborative projects that i'm a part of. these are predominantly in-person, in tokyo. being fully present with these people in person is where i feel i can offer the most. - rather than through texts or calls, the way i try to show care is by hosting spaces where people can come and (re)connect with each other. i wrote a longer piece that touches on this: [https://substack.com/home/post/p-200613101](https://substack.com/home/post/p-200613101) > ...the way I show care ... is by consistently showing up to host & hold spaces for connection. Setting the table in welcome, seeing old and new faces stop by, listening with curiosity, and weaving those who come together. I like to imagine this role as something like the bartender in Midnight Diner. - my limited bandwidth quickly becomes overwhelmed when i try to keep track of messages across all the platforms, so i prefer to not spend any more time than absolutely needed on social media, and instead give that attention to people directly. (i'm experimenting with AI to help me manage messages better, so i do hope to improve my reply game a bit, though!) - [the medium is the message](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_medium_is_the_message), as they say, and i admit i have an aversion to the 'message' embedded in modern comms media. specifically, the culture that modern hyper-connected online social life engenders, where we're expected to always be reachable and where not getting back promptly is impolite. i find it very hard to keep up online communication with more than a handful of people who i've made explicit agreements with. maybe i just live a bit outside of time, but other than connecting in person, i *much* prefer slower mediums like email. i have a few email chains with friends that span multiple years, where we only respond every so often, and i treasure them dearly. if you've reached out and are still waiting to hear back: thank you for thinking of me, and i'm sorry for the wait! it's most definitely not personal. if you'd like to connect in person, pls [[contact]] me, i'd love for you to join one of the upcoming things i'm hosting in tokyo!